The offending item:
#5. Ignoring a text for days* and then saying “Omg I’m SO sorry, just noticed my reply didn’t go through!”
Accompanied by this picture:
LOL, amirite? Ugh. Now, it doesn't take a genius to see artifacts around the second "1" in 2011. I'm no photoshop genius (I'm lying. I am.) but look what I did in 20 seconds!
I mean, LOLz!
Additionally- iMessage debuted in October 2011 with the release of iOS5. The lower case first letters in "hey" and "i sent that..." also indicate that the messages were sent from Messages on a mac, and Messages on the computer came out as a beta in Summer 2011 but couldn't go to phones yet.
I have now vented my spleen.
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